Motherhood is full of visible responsibilities—packing lunches, managing bedtime routines, showing up at school events. But the heaviest burden most mums carry? It’s the one no one else sees: the invisible load.
The invisible load of motherhood isn’t about what we do—it’s about what we carry mentally and emotionally. It’s the 24/7 job of remembering, planning, and caring that rarely gets acknowledged. If you've ever felt completely tapped out even when the house looks calm, chances are you're carrying it too.
What Is the Invisible Load of Motherhood?
The invisible load includes all the unseen labour involved in managing a family. It's not just washing the uniforms—it’s remembering that they need washing, realising one is too small, and adding “buy new socks” to the mental list. It’s tracking birthdays, keeping the pantry stocked, worrying about your child’s sudden mood shift, and silently planning what’s for dinner while pretending to listen to Bluey.
It’s also deeply emotional. You carry the weight of everyone’s wellbeing. You feel the pressure to be everything—nurturing, organised, calm, cheerful—even when you're running on empty.
Why It Matters
When left unacknowledged, the invisible load can lead to:
💢 Burnout
You feel physically and emotionally exhausted—even after a full night’s sleep. (If that unicorn ever visits.)
💔 Resentment
When you're carrying 90% of the logistics and 100% of the emotional labour, it's easy to feel angry or taken for granted.
🤯 Mental Overwhelm
It becomes harder to focus, be present, or even enjoy your own life because your brain is in a constant loop of what's next?
This isn't about blaming anyone—it's about making the unseen seen, so it can be shared.
How to Lighten the Mental Load
You don’t need to do it all. Here are simple ways to shift the weight:
1. Name It Out Loud
Start by naming the invisible load in conversations. Say, “I’m finding it hard to keep track of everything in my head,” or “I feel like I’m the only one anticipating everyone’s needs.” Voicing it helps others understand it exists.
2. Share the Mental Load—Not Just the Task
It’s one thing to ask your partner to do the school run. It’s another to make them remember it, plan for it, and deal with the details. True sharing means they carry the full arc of the task—not just the final action.
3. Use Visual Tools Together
A shared Google calendar, a visible whiteboard, or even a daily group chat can help offload mental clutter. It’s not about controlling others—it’s about building a system where you’re not the sole project manager of your household.
Real Mum Voices: You’re Not Alone
“It wasn’t until I had surgery and couldn’t micromanage that my husband realised how much I handled mentally every day.”
– Rachael, mum of 3
“I felt like I had a full-time job keeping my toddler fed, my partner emotionally supported, and the fridge stocked—all while no one noticed.”
– Tessa, single mum
These stories are far from rare. The invisible load touches nearly every mum, no matter her circumstances.
You Deserve to Be Seen
Your work—seen or unseen—has value. You don’t need to prove how hard you’re trying. You don’t need to justify why you’re tired. The fact that you care so deeply, so constantly, already shows that you’re giving your all.
So take the pressure off. You don’t need to carry it all. In fact, you shouldn’t have to.
💌 Free Download: Click here for The Mum Overwhelm Quiz
Want to understand the type of overwhelm you are experiencing? This quiz will help identify the areas where you feel most overwhelmed and some tips and tricks to help. You will also receive an affirmation based on your results that you can use daily to help support yourself.
